What You Can Do About Stress

If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.

That quote by Oscar Wilde is a negative way to look at the positive, but the point remains good: We cannot control everything that happens, but we can control our response to events swirling around us.

As Profiles International demonstrates with its research on stress in the workplace, we give stress too much power when we allow problems we experience on the job to control our lives. This causes bad health, overblown drama in the office, and relationship problems at home. Making jokes about not having a "life" outside of work is fine if it is just a joke-but not if we mean it. Healthy people know they must balance work with the rest of their lives to maintain their good health.

People who are frazzled by what they perceive as unrelenting stress can take basic steps to get back the power, manage their lives and keep work issues in perspective:

• Establish a lifeline. Everyone needs a trustworthy ear-someone to talk to, preferably before reaching the boil-over point. Develop colleagues, whether in the office or away from work, to help you deal calmly and logically with job frustrations. Talking to others about work problems will help you realise that you are not alone. If something is affecting you, then it is affecting others too.

• Prioritise. When job duties threaten to swamp you, step back. Decide what needs to happen in the next hour, or the next day. Take everything a step at a time. Setting priorities helps you organise your workday. Remember when everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.

• Learn to say no. Although you cannot reject a manager's assignment, you can keep the lines of communication open so he knows what else you are working on. Do your part to strengthen the relationship. Ask for regular feedback on your performance; seek your manager's help in setting priorities. If your workload has increased and you need help, say so. Remember, communication takes two people and managers cannot read minds.

• Leave work on time. It's normal to work past quitting time to finish a project, but doing so on a regular basis creates problems at work and at home. Leaving on time demonstrates to others that you have a life outside work. Set an example by working when you are at work and enjoying other pursuits when you are not.

• Exercise. Do it regularly at a time you set aside just for that. Start with two or three days and work up to daily if possible. Think of stretching, walking, yoga, pilates, swimming, running or biking-anything that raises your heart rate and clears your mind. People who exercise say it gives them more focus.

• Think practically. Change is inevitable, even in slower moving organisations that appear to stay the same. Acknowledge that nothing stays the same and that changes at work will affect you in some way. Then deal with them as they arise. Remember, some changes can be good ones.

When you think that you have little control over your life, remember that you are the only person who controls your attitude. A deep breath and a thoughtful approach to what you are facing will sustain you much longer than will tears, yelling and hand wringing.